Its the final countdown....

Please enjoy some Final Countdown, from our favorite crazy TV family. The Bluths!

Five days and counting until my induction. I am so very excited to finally have both my boys here. I am already feeling that pang of agony I know my heart will feel while I'm in the hospital. I already am missing Carson. The best way to describe it is like, when Chris travels for work and I have that dread of "I'm going to be sleeping alone for x nights" I know its coming and I know it sucks.

I've never left Carson for more than a couple hours, let alone over night. I've been having nightmares that he wakes in the night and FREAKS out that I'm not at home. No one can console him and he is forever scarred. All the preparation for his brother is lost, because he instantly resents his brother for taking his mommy away for 2 nights. Then the logical bus slaps me and says "Bitch, its only 2 nights. Your kid will survive and probably won't notice your gone. Get the fuck over yourself already"

Chris will be home at night with him along with my mom, and my mom will be here during the day. When Ollie is born, Carson and my mom will be waiting at the hospital to come in and meet him.

I'm such a control freak, ha...ha....ha. I have everything planned a certain way. I want Carson to come and meet his brother with his "Best big Brother" shirt on, I want him to bring the Bunny he picked out for Ollie so Ollie can have it in the hospital.

When we come home from the hospital I want Chris to go home and get Carson and get my car with the carseats in it. I want to drive home together as a family of four. My family will be waiting at our house to meet Ollie, and we'll spend our first night home as a family of four, bonding in bed watching Carson's favorite movie (I know I'm gonna miss the damn dragon movie in the hospital. Fucking kids movies, addictive like crack)  snuggling and finally I'll lay Ollie in his bed, and Carson in his, and Chris and I will snuggle up and go to bed (for an hour or so till Ollie wakes again)

I'm ready to get our new normal set up and going. I feel like this has been a long time coming. But not really, it also feels like it snuck up on me.

When I start having anxiety over leaving Carson, my mantra is "It will all be okay, its only 72 hours max"